Believe me, the pun is not intended for this week’s topic that happens to be in the month of October. Ghosting a person, or the act of declining phone calls, going “missing-inaction” and “not receiving texts” that were sent weeks ago, is something a lot of us like to pretend we don’t do. Whether it be ghosting someone you had an awkward date with or someone you just felt like you grew out of, whatever the reason may be, examining the circumstances in which you ghost someone is essential to putting your needs first. I’ve heard it all – awkward hookups that make you want to blush if you see that person again, dates gone wrong that required splitting the bill because of the bad conversation and simply needing space despite not finding anything wrong. Breaking away from a routine that you’ve made with someone or disappearing from their social sight for the right reasons (hint, hint: yourself), is completely justified in my opinion.
I’ve had to do it myself – breaking ties because I needed space to deal with other things in my life. It never meant that I wouldn’t come back or didn’t care – it meant I decided to choose myself. After communicating the idea with that person I decided to ghost, their reaction told me everything I needed to know. Now, I’m not promising that understanding and support will always be the reaction from whomever you need time away from, but all I’m saying is pay attention to the person who understands your decision – you might even re-consider.
Before you reconsider all of the ghosting you’ve experienced in your life, I want to also make it clear that ghosting for the wrong reasons and in the wrong way isn’t justified by “putting your needs first.” Going MIA on someone who possibly cares about you because they bore you isn’t justified. Not giving a heads-up about leaving someone completely alone without explanation is nothing to brag about. Just be honest with yourself and the person from the start because having bad blood between you and anyone else is never the end goal.
For all of the people who need to grow,