Taylor Swift to headline Pink Party

You heard it here first: With the help of thumbs and cell phones, UTSA will host Taylor Swift for a massive concert this October after winning Victoria Secret’s Pink Nation Campus Showdown 2015. UTSA students helped rally their school by an overwhelming margin in the last event, solidifying the win over 96 other schools. The announcement posted on Victoria Secret’s website came after days of speculation on Facebook with artists such as Drake, the Weeknd and J. Cole leading the popular opinion polls.

Swift, a first choice candidate and notable Victoria Secret associate, immediately responded on Twitter after the announcement, “I can’t wait to come to San Antonio in October!!!,” she posted.

UTSA students have been raving about the artist choice on both twitter and Facebook with many posts such as, “I cannot believe this is happening” and “This can’t be real,” written by excited students. The consensus seems to be that many believe Swift to be the best choice for the school.

The concert, which will most likely be held off-campus to accommodate the size of the student population, will feature hundreds of panty shooting “pink cannons” launching at 60mph to both female and male students in the audience. Other notable attractions include giant pink heart statues, a 1,400 foot pillow fight arena, a cold-water Jacuzzi and over three current Victoria Secret Models.

The host for the event will be lesser-known artist Beyoncé and her husband, and t-shirt designer Jay-Z.

T-Swift’s rumored special guest will be North West; the two year old will drop her first studio album. However, critics note North often struggles with pronunciation and expanding beyond her less than 200-word vocabulary.

Presidential candidate Kanye West will be there to offer off-stage assistance to North and Taylor.