Put out or sit out?

“Why don’t I have a boyfriend?” This was the question on of my close friends asked me after watching one of those romantic Hollywood movies: boy meets girl, girl rejects boy, boy makes up for whatever he did wrong and boy has passionate make-up sex with girl.  Watching movies like this can evoke such questions as, how much sex do I have to have to get a boyfriend and does sex really matter in a relationship? My friend then proceeds to tell me how she finds herself attractive and how great of person she is. I reply,  “Mother Teresa was an awesome person and she died a virgin.”

All kidding aside, assuming that my friend is beautiful and awesome– why doesn’t she have a boyfriend? In trying to answer this question, I enlist the help of my fellow guy friends. Some of them said sex had to be in their relationship because they needed to have it, others said sex was not a factor in dating a girl because they would get it elsewhere and one guy said he passes up girls that don’t for lack of a better term, “put out.” 

This last guy’s comment didn’t set well with me. What if you’re passing up wonderful people because they don’t “put out?” If you’re in a relationship, think about the one you are with now. Isn’t it strange to think what would happen if they chose not to have sex?  Would you still be with that person?

Sex does limit the dating pool and while some of us are drowning others have boats, life jackets and life–savers.  Some guys laughably suggest that my friend needs to find guys that are willing to go without having sex until their married. It’s understandable that we are in college and while some of us are discovering new knowledge, some of us are discovering new positions. 

So, where are these guys that are willing to wait?