Wonderful things are coming

Leah Feneley

I’ve recently noticed that I’ve stopped living life–I’m just trying to get to the next day, just living in the thought of tomorrow.

I’m not living, but rather, I’m waiting. And I have a problem: I don’t know what I’m waiting for.

Maybe I’m waiting for my life to suddenly end up perfect, or maybe I’m just waiting for some shred of divine intervention that will help me know what I’m doing along my journey, with anything and/or everything.

I don’t know. 

But the truth is–I’m feeling confused and lost.

On occasion, I close my eyes and tell myself, ‘You’re still young, the universe is endless and, somehow, everything will be okay.’

But that has stopped working, and I still don’t know.   

I understand that the sun rises and the sun sets; I’m just complicating the process.

I understand that I should smile and that life isn’t really that serious; I’m just making it hard.

So, I’ve been trying to comprehend that it’s okay not to know (anything and/or everything).

I’m going to stop telling myself that I’m lost, because I’m not. No one is ever completely lost; they just have to work hard to find themselves again. 

I’m realizing that nobody knows what they’re doing; everyone is just making it up as they go through life–there is no right or wrong way to live and experience existence.

Also, I’m realizing that having an existential crisis scheduled within every day is rather exhausting, and I should stop for my safety and for the safety of those around me.

I’m learning to enjoy every little fragment of happiness I can find, because I’ve stopped waiting for that magical moment of pure bliss to finally arrive. 

I’m understanding everything happens for a reason and trying to control every outcome is futile. And just because I don’t know the reason right now doesn’t mean I never will. 

Soon, when all is well, I’m going to look back on this period of my life and be so glad I never gave up just because I didn’t know what I was doing.

So, whenever you feel lost, remember: there are still over seven billion people on this beautiful earth you haven’t encountered, there are great expanses of countries you have left to explore and there are many new and exciting foods you haven’t tried.

This moment in your life isn’t its entirety; it’s the beginning. So, just hold on; there are so many wonderful things coming your way.