I’ve noticed that women are often heavily criticized for simply expressing themselves. In a culture that defines women by what they wear, who they date and how they present themselves to the world, it seems impossible to please everyone. Women often find themselves being humiliated by socially constructed judgement, like slut-shaming.

Slut-shaming happens when a woman is stigmatized for not following behavior deemed appropriate for women by our society. Just about anything a woman does can be considered inappropriate and be used against her. Even though there are many reasons women face unfair scrutiny, the two most common are how women dress and the way they express their sexuality. 

With the society we live in, it seems women will always be judged by their appearance and that of course, includes the way they dress. In recent times, fashion trends have changed and we have seen more bold choices like crop tops, mini skirts, mesh tops and blouses with plunge necks or lace-up detailing. Women who enjoy wearing those pieces receive insults that put them down. It saddens me to read online comments by both men and women insulting a woman’s body, instead of admiring her creativity. The same goes for rumors of a woman’s character based solely on her clothes. Rumors can suggest that she partakes in inappropriate sexual behaviour, that she is incompetent or that she dresses like that just to please other people. Comments like that are petty and they usually come from feelings of insecurity and jealousy. As the old saying goes, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. 

Furthermore, the double standard when it comes to sex is absolutely ridiculous. Since high school, men are encouraged to date many girls and then compare them to each other to see who they enjoyed the most. On the other hand, women aren’t allowed to date different people because if we do that we are perceived as wild and untrustworthy, therefore unsuitable for a future serious relationship. I don’t understand why men are permitted to explore what they enjoy and with whom while women are shamed for it. Why do men get to explore their sexuality on their own terms while women have to serve whoever gave them a sliver of attention?

The way women are treated for expressing themselves on their own terms is completely unfair. Whether it is the way they dress or how they decide to explore their sexuality, it seems like anything women do just isn’t correct for the society that raised us. That begs the question. How do we manage to both please our social codes and ourselves? The truth is that we simply can’t. No matter what we do, people will always try to make us feel bad about the stuff we enjoy doing, so we might as well lead a life based on our principle. Forget the opinions of people that don’t matter in your life and do whatever you want, unapologetically.