‘Maybe you should talk to someone’
Lori Gottlieb proves that even therapists need to go to therapy
October 5, 2021
Have you ever wondered if a therapist goes to therapy? Spoiler alert: they do. In her poignant and reflective memoir; “Maybe You Should Talk to Someone,” Lori Gottlieb chronicles her visits and breakthroughs with her therapist. Gottlieb’s ambitious and, oftentimes, uncomfortably moving book seeks to combine her firsthand experience as a therapist by sharing patient anecdotes and parallels her patient’s struggles with her own as she navigates being on the other side of the clipboard.
“Maybe You Should Talk to Someone” begins with Gottlieb’s sudden and unexpected breakup with her partner of two years. After discovering her partner’s wants and needs are different from her own, Gottlieb is stunned by the revelation that went undiscussed their entire relationship. After such devastation, Gottlieb realizes that she is unable to shift her focus from her former partner: she allows her sadness and grief to consume her thoughts. In the book’s most captivating passages, Gottlieb’s therapist takes a painfully honest look into her behaviors and the root of her grief, which, at times, forces readers to wonder if they suffer from the same blithe approach to their own destructive behaviors.
As readers follow Gottlieb on her journey, she introduces a few of her patients that were inadvertently part of her emotional healing: Julie, a cancer patient who sought Gottlieb’s help in accepting her death and John, a stubborn and arrogant TV producer who refuses to empathize with others and soon realizes his own shortcomings in his marriage. Truthfully, at times I found myself so angry at John, the patient mentioned the most, because of his lack of understanding and care for others, but his development and newfound vulnerability at the end of the book gave a greater appreciation and admiration for him.
In a culture that harbors a festering environment for jealousy, fear and shame to take root, the promotion of mental health and therapy has never been more important. Though we are shifting more and more toward prioritizing self-care and mental health, going to therapy can still be frightening and alienating at times. In fact, Gottlieb acknowledges and explains that, “therapy elicits odd reactions because, in a way, its like pornography. Both involve a kind of nudity.” Gottlieb does a fantastic job of expressing her various internal conflicts as she went through therapy, accurately explaining the steps of undergoing therapy and what happens after.
If you have always been curious about if your therapist has gone to see a therapist, if you are wanting to hear other patient experiences, if you are interested in learning more about becoming a therapist or if you have never gone to a therapist before and simply want to gain more insight, “Maybe You Should Talk to Someone” is perfect for you.