I enjoyed the time I spent with Lola, every second of it. She was the first person I had met here, and for whatever reason that meant a lot to me. We instantly clicked, at least I thought we did. I had immediately fallen for her. The way her nose crinkled when she laughed, the constant fiddling with her hair and refusing to untie her shoes to put them on. I was obsessed, but I guess it just felt like she didn’t care as much as I did like she was slowly pushing me away. In reality, I was the one making the bed.
As we approached winter break, Lola and I could both sense something weird; a rift in our relationship. I tried to make us more public, but it was hard because she was so high-strung. She didn’t know it, but she was well-known across the school. Sure she wasn’t the type of person to flaunt themselves, but everyone knew of her. She talks a lot more than she seems to think. People approached her now and then trying to be friendly, and I swear it always went over her head. She just wanted to get out of this town and away from this era of her life.
I knew I was going to make friends easily, I mean I was the new kid after all. I could tell that Lola was a little annoyed by this, but she would never express that. She always kept up with her lonesome status, and she wouldn’t let that go, not even for me.
It was mid-December when I screwed up. Lola had gone to the West Coast mountains for the holidays. She had spotty service, so we didn’t talk much. Valerie was here though. God, she was so perfect with her chestnut hair and rosy skin. Be that as it may, she knew how to work a person to get exactly what she wanted. I quickly became entangled in her, and that night, after she kissed me, I knew I was done for. We spent the night together and woke up the next morning together. It was simple with us, but I had no idea how quickly it would get messy. I should’ve seen it for what it was, but I guess lust clouded my judgment.
Lola came back the first week of January, but she didn’t contact me. I had wondered why, I mean, it’s not like she could have known. I saw her at school for the first time, and she smiled at me from across the hall. By this point, I was confused, consumed in guilt and getting mixed signals from my girlfriend. Val kept trying to talk to me though, but I had promised Lola that she had nothing to worry about, so I couldn’t talk to Val there. Hell, I wasn’t sure I could ever talk to her again, she was essentially the source of all of my problems.
Eventually, I got fed up with the back-and-forth signals from Lola, so I went to her house. It was her birthday next week, so I tried playing it off by asking her what we were doing. She opened the door, but instead of welcoming me inside, she came onto the porch. This was weird, but not completely odd for her to do. She did prefer the outdoors after all.
“Hey, how was the break?” I’d asked.
“I don’t know Connor, how was yours?” she countered. Normally, her voice was like honey, smooth and soft. Today, it was snippy and worn.
“I’m not sure what you mean. I mean, it was fine. Would’ve been better if you were here,” I answered. I held my breath waiting for her to answer. I knew she knew.
“Oh, you mean you didn’t spend a lot of time with someone else while I was gone?”
“Wha–”
“Don’t play dumb with me,” she cut me off. “Was this all just a joke to you?”
“No, I’m … please Lola, I still need you,” I bargained. I saw her jaw tighten.
“Oh please. I gave you everything I had. You promised,” she glanced at me. I had no idea eyes could be so cruel.
“I’m sorry.”
“Does hurting me make you feel good or something? You know what, never mind. You should go. This thing that we had? Yeah, it’s over. Don’t come back,” she went inside and slammed the door.
She hated me, but could I blame her? I was going to get her back. I needed to get her back.
