Mexico responds with wall to illegal student immigrants

President of Mexico Enrique Peña Nieto announced on Friday his plans to erect a giant wall along the border between the U.S and Mexico, in an attempt to keep out the recent influx of U.S citizens illegally immigrating into Mexico. Recently, thousands of U.S. immigrants have flooded across the borders of Mexico in Texas, Arizona and California, most notably from those areas near college intuitions.

“We do not want these people,” announced Mexican Representative Juan Fence. “They want to take our white-collar jobs, but have no job experience.”

Many college graduates are now fleeing the country to avoid increase in loan debt. The U.S currently owes over 1.2 trillion dollars in student debt. The average college student will have around $33,000 in debt after graduation, and around 14 to 15 percent of these students will default on their loans. With no other options, thousands now flee across the Mexican border, seeking a better life.

“There are no jobs in the U.S,” reported illegal immigrant Sloane Debt, who after earning a degree in sociology, found herself with only an unpaid internship at a community daycare and an accumulating student loan of over $50,000 from college housing and undergraduate studies. Sloane, who had been hounded by debt collectors after defaulting on her loan, hopes to find a greener pastures in Central America, possibly in Honduras or Venezuela.

“We cannot have these filthy, university-educated Americans bringing drugs and crime into our country,” further commented Fence. “When America sends its people, they’re not sending their best, these aren’t students with family connections or any sort of graduate degree.”

This issue is now causing many students to plan their finances before they graduate; many are now saving a couple of thousand dollars to flee the country post-graduation.

“I told them I was going get some empanadas,” said student and illegal immigrant Noe De Niro, who drove his Ford Focus from the border of Laredo, Texas to the South America country of Colombia. “No one questioned why I had all of my belongings.” Manny, a philosophy major and law school dropout, hopes to escape from his $110,000 student loans and make an honest living harvesting coffee beans.

In a response that expressed regret on the issue, Congress assured the public, “We had the border fence idea first.”