Too many neurotypicals have become comfortable with openly fetishizing autistic people on dating apps and social media. The widespread glorification of a neurological developmental disability is equally disgusting and reflective of rampant ignorance regarding the disorder.
Cisgender, heterosexual men are increasingly listing “slightly autistic,” “mildly autistic” or “has a touch of the ‘tism” as traits they want in their ideal woman. These men desire women who likely have level one Autism Spectrum Disorder, which appears “mild” to non-autistic, or allistic, individuals.
What allistics do not see is the internal strife level one autistics experience while being expected to adhere to a neurotypical society they do not fit into. They do not see the overstimulation, meltdowns and burnout induced by masking one’s ASD traits to blend in with “normal” people. Anyone who claims to prefer women with “a touch of the ‘tism” knows absolutely nothing about how debilitating living with ASD can be.
These “preferences” are not uplifting. The adverbs preceding the disorder specify only a narrow window of traits palatable to the men and imply behaviors outside the scope unacceptable. Dating is already challenging enough for women with ASD. The last thing they need is additional restrictions on what it takes to be dateable to allistics.
One of the desired traits is talking about hyperfixations. Instead of putting in a little effort to make conversation with allistic women, men are turning their attention to autistic women who will go on and on about their latest hyperfixation. Stimming behaviors, like repetitive blinking, rocking back and forth or repeating specific phrases, are nowhere near as romanticized; however, they are among a myriad of less socially acceptable traits that are central to an ASD diagnosis. If an autistic person dares to display their “distasteful” behaviors, they may be labeled “too autistic” and considered undateable. This precedent being set is repulsive.
Claiming to want someone with a disability that is not visible completely dehumanizes that person, boiling them down to a set of semi-socially-acceptable traits that set them apart from others. Picking and choosing how disabled someone prefers their partner to be is downright deplorable. No one would tolerate someone saying they love it when someone is only slightly paralyzed, and the same should be applied to people with ASD.
