Licensed swords

A new law passed last week by Texas state legislature will allow licensed and trained swordsmen to bring their swords on campus. The previous state law banned blades over 5.5 inches. Following California’s law, Texas law now permits Texans to carry swords on college campuses, as long as they are sheathed. The bill was passed unanimously after the representative viewed the 38th episode of Game of Thrones.

Licensed swordsmen must be 21-years-old, pass a background check and complete training class that includes state laws, a sword technique practical, and a multiple choice test on the warrior’s code. Participants must score at least 70 percent to pass, meaning that they slice at least 20 of the bananas, oranges and melons that are thrown in the accuracy test.

Students for Sheathed Swords believes that students have a right to defend themselves from the dangers on college campuses. “Dragon attacks have increased the past few years,” said president of the SSS and UTSA medieval weapons professor Lance Lot. “They begin pillaging and setting fire classrooms and no one has the ability to stop them.” Lot’s comment followed a fire a month ago where two student-dragons at the University of Houston set fire to their chemistry professor, their geology lab, and the small village of the Woodlands in Houston. The students, who had been previously cited for aggressive behavior, are now being held in the Harris county dungeon awaiting their trials.

Addressing concerns of safety, Lot relates the non-issue with swords compared more dangerous weapons. “There is virtually no danger with swords,” said Lot. “They are not like crossbows, which can fire multiple bolts or be set off accidently; anyone can just point and shoot one of those. Swords require serious technique to be deadly…and there is a code.”

Some students had some concerns with swords being brought to campus. Sam Murai, whose roommate was recently sent to Azkaban after an incident at Texas State, said, “My roommate was that wizard last year, the one that cast spells on and charmed all those people. He had a license for his wand and a wizardry code too.”

The Texas State incident and fire, along with other attacks is one of the main decisions for the sheathed-sword bill being passed. Proponents for the bill believe carrying a long, broad, two-handed, rapier, pirate, Viking, and other swords is a right that others share around the state and should not be any different on college campuses.

“Students are rational, well-balanced, and stable,” stated the Lt. Governor in an open letter addressed to Texas universities. “I understand that many of them come to school with no experience with alcohol, being away from their family, sex, societal pressure, as well as the enormous debt many accrue to student loans.” The Lt. Governor continued, “But these kids are tough now, stuff like 20 page essays, five 3-hour long finals that count for 50 percent of grade, and one of worst job markets in history; swords in comparison, are very easy for these young adults to handle.”